Flash Fiction

More information about flash fiction here.


Mort sat at the bar. The GLARE eyeWEAR rested high on the bridge of his nose. When the woman looked up from her empty glass, GLARE scanned her face.

This is Tiffany, GLARE wrote on the lens. Her favorite drink is a gin and tonic. According to Wikipedia, it is made with gin and tonic water poured over ice. It is usually garnished with a slice or wedge of lime. The amount of gin varies according to taste. Suggested ratios of gin-to-tonic are 1:1, 1:2, 1:3, and 2:3. It is commonly referred to as a G and T.

“Would you like a G and T?” Mort asked.

She looked at him with blurry eyes. “Oh my God. Are you seriously wearing those glasses?”

GLARE opened her Facebook profile. Tiffany enjoys nights out with friends and Fifty Shades of Grey

“Yes,” Mort said, “I mostly use them for reading. I just started Fifty Shades of Grey.”

“Wow,” Tiffany said, “when I didn’t think it could get any lower.” She drank melted ice and waved her glass at the bartender. “Frank, this guy is hitting on me with those creepy internet glasses.”

Frank slapped a white towel over his shoulder and crossed his arms. GLARE scanned his face.

Frank is very active on social media. His likes include CrossFit, protein, and Fireball whiskey.

Mort dabbed a cocktail napkin on his forehead. “Do you know of any CrossFit gym locations?”

Frank nodded toward the exit, and the bouncer walked over. Mort tried smiling. “I’d like to buy a round of Fireball for everyone,” he said.

“Now you’re using those things to look me up, aren’t you?” Frank said. He looked at Tiffany. “What kind of world are we living in?”

The bouncer breathed heavily. Mort turned so GLARE could scan him.

Brian is interested in opening a 401k. He has been asking his friends for advice via Twitter. I think this information is your only hope. 

Brian grabbed Mort’s collar and pulled him past the pool tables to the side door. He was about to throw him into the alley when Mort said: “I won’t charge to help you tax-defer up to $51,000 in taxes for 2013!”

Brian stopped. “Those glasses just don’t quit, do they?”

“I don’t know how to turn them off.” Mort couldn’t hear himself over the beating of his heart.

Brian looked around as if they were being watched. “I’ll let you go nicely if you can find a way to charge less than one percent in fees.”

“I can do that,” Mort said. “GLARE is already bringing up the information–”

“Just get out of here,” Brian said.

“Sure thing. I’ll email you when I get to my office tomorrow morning.”

“How do you have my…? Get the hell out of here.” Brian slammed the door.

Mort looked around. A rat darted into the middle of the alleyway.

According to Wikipedia, a 2011 controlled study found that rats are actively prosocial. They demonstrate altruistic behaviour to other rats in experiments, including freeing them from cages. When presented with readily available chocolate chips, test subjects would first free the caged rat, and then share the food. All female rats in the study displayed this behavior, while 30% of the males did not.

“Interesting,” Mort said.

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